First Post, new blog...and away we go....

My therapist suggested I do this. I have blogged before and actually have a few but this one is different. I actually don't even know what to type exactly but I am starting it so that is "something"...right? I looked for a cool pic of a rear view mirror only because she said something to me today that made me think....she said that I didn't drive all the way to my appointment looking in my rearview mirror...I couldn't have or I would have had an accident. I had to look ahead...focused on what was ahead of me...in the present...the hear and now. I spend LOADS....SHIT LOADS....and more SHIT LOADS of my every moment hanging out in the past...I am like a pig in mud....rolling in the trough of my past...doing that....makes me like one of the records that DJ's scratch....back and forth and it is so OLD...I am getting old. I am tired of the self hate...the shame...the the fucking hamster wheel I play in. So I guess I will try harder and do my homework...and starting this blog was on the list....so I can mark one thing off the list for today....I am supposed to attempt to walk 2 times this week (2 miles each time) and then there are a few other things but that is the biggest deal.